I Yam

 

And in spite of how hard I try I yam never enough. 

I yam a watchdog, I yam a protector, I yam a defender. But nobody wants those unless and until they need them.

I yam a teacher, I yam a Shishou, I yam a student. I am constantly learning, always trying to gain knowledge, to teach myself more. I am not a master of anything, but there are skills where I am very proficient. This works for others if and when they want it to. The only time I will be forceful with my teaching is when I can prevent harm or injury. If you are miserable, I am miserable too. I may make you take steps to protect yourself, to prevent you from coming to (once again) harm or injury. Most often, this results in resentful appreciation.

I yam trying to be better. I yam trying, albeit taking small steps, to improve myself physically and mentally. I struggle physically because I broke and damaged parts of my body over the years that are coming back around to say "You cannot do that any more" or to remind me of all the things I hurt every time it storms. Also, heredity apparently has something to do with some of this.Mental mprovement is a discussion for another time. 

Mostly, I yam wrong. I yam intrusive. I yam forgotten until something is needed.

I yam just not needed.