Mom's last Christmas

Mom loved Thanksgiving. Dad loved Christmas. Dad did things like load the Christmas tree with lights and have a contest with the grandkids to guess how many lights were on the tree for a small prize. He always wanted a big tree and there were years growing up that we had to cut a few feet off of the tree to get it to fit in the house.

Mom loved having the family together. Mom loved the gathering.

My last Christmas with mom was an event. We traveled down with both kids and their kids, and took food down as our present to Mom. Got delayed by a storm and then by a cow elk one the way down so it was pretty late when we got there. Mom had gone to bed with Peyton, my step-father, and had to get up to let us in, but was just thrilled that we were there. 

The next few days were filled with a lot of commotion but mom was constantly smiling that she got to see everybody. She had struggled with having an appetite for a few months but for some reason with us being there and all the food we had brought with us, she started eating regularly and small, but real meals as opposed to just drinking a protein shake. 

I managed to get some conversations recorded with mom about a lot of the things she went through in life with dad and she talked about the night of the horrific accident that changed their lives. She talked about how they managed with three young kids and not knowing whether he was going to live that night and then the course of their lives changing. Mom and I also had some private conversations that were just between the two of us. 

It was hard leaving when it was time to come home. Mom understood, but I could tell she was upset. I was as well. It was a hard parting. I never saw mom again after that until I received her cremains. We spoke many times on the telephone, but that just is not the same.

Mom always wanted to live to 80 years of age and made it three weeks shy of her 81st birthday. Mom had lived with an aortic aneurysm for years and one night it broke. Her doctors were surprised that she made it to the helicopter ambulance, let alone the hospital. She lived for a few days after, more of a testament to her inner strength, but towards the end she had a series of small strokes and then went to her rest.

While talking with my step-father he would tell me how amazed he was at the positive changes in her following that Christmas visit. She had a good appetite, felt well and was even able to get out a little bit. He told me that she had said that those last three months were so nice for her.

I think of both of them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Truthfully, all holidays and if I am being honest there are very few days that I do not think of them. For some reason this Christmas is hitting a little harder this year.

Kids these days.

 I dare say that most people have some kind of values. Some form of standards. Some definition of morals.

That being said, I also dare say that values and standards and morals are on the low end of a sliding scale right now. Respect for other people and their property. Respect for other people's lives. Road rage. Domestic violence. Bullying. Race baiting. Sexuality acceptance. 

Actually, just plain acceptance. Everybody seems to have a need or an entitlement to expect the world to accept "X", whatever their version of "X" might be. Now, you also need to note that these same people are almost without fail will absolutely NOT be accepting of your own standards. You are wrong if your standards are not the same as theirs. I do not have a problem if someone identifies as gay but I do have a problem if they also believe that I have to accept them parading their sexuality and lifestyle by peddling it to children. There is nothing that says I have to accept indecency under the guise of accepting how you identify. You can identify however you wish, but you do not have to shove it in my  face.

Apparently, we as a society have to accept that just because someone wants something that is yours, they have the right to take it. Never mind that you are a business trying to stay open, just trying to pay bills and keep you employees employed and paid. If I want whatever it is that you have more than you want to fight for it, it is mine. I have the right to be a violent as I want, up to and including taking a life if I want it. I am entitled. I do not have to work for it. I will feed off of your labors.

Uphold the law? What law? Laws do not apply to me. If you offend me I can kill you. No, I WILL kill you. Your life means nothing. Law enforcement officers are fair game and readily targeted. Most gangs look on killing an officer as a badge of honor. "They knew what they were signing up for when they took the job." Pretty sure that no officer I have ever met or worked with signed up to be a target.

I swear I am going to slap the next person that says that to me. 

On the other hand, should that sentiment apply equally across the  board to both sides? Should the gangbanger with the violent criminal record involving assaults and weapons violations that gets killed in a shootout with police be treated any differently? "He knew what he was signing up for when he chose that lifestyle."

And all the people who come out of the woodwork to tell the world what a "kind, giving, caring person he was, a pillar of the community, give you the shirt off of his back and never harm a soul" can go sit back down. Get out of here with that stuff. If any of those words truly defined him, he probably would not have a record with multiple violent interactions with law enforcement and have been in prison for shooting people.

And this speaks back to my comments about values and respect. When did we stop teaching the value of human life? When did we stop teaching to respect for other people? At what point did families stop teaching these standards? Growing up my parents taught me that one respected other people. You let other people be who they were. You do not vilify them or attack them. People are different. Unless and until they attack you for what your beliefs are, then you let them be them. You also do not need to put up with assaults from others because of your own beliefs. You respect others and expect respect from them in return.

Traditional values. Family values.

I think we have come a long way from families teaching values to their children and have relied on others to teach what their values are. I do not believe that it is the responsibility of our (failing) school system to teach family values. As much as I love and respect so many teachers that choose that profession, it is not their responsibility and I want to ensure that the values taught to my children were ones that match mine. It is not the responsibility of our government to teach values to my kids. 

I think that there are so many unrecognized teachers who are so caring and giving and, yes, loving who are working in an overloaded system. I also firmly believe that we need to support them in what they do. I do not believe they are getting a fair shake when they want for supplies and materials. I do not believe that the government needs to step in to teach any values in our schools. 

I believe that a lot of the lack of morals, that the lack of standards, that the feeling of entitlement is systemic. Too often people are told that they deserve something just because they are alive. Not everything needs to be provided under a national system. Every single thing has a price tag and someone has to pay it. Typically, it is the working class people being tagged to pay this because they are the ones working and paying taxes. I do believe that our health system needs to be fixed, but giving everything away for free is not the answer. Affordable, is the answer.

Entitlements need to stop. You are born with certain rights, but the right to have society support you is not one of them. You do not get to have reparations paid for something that happened centuries ago from people who were not alive then. Less than 4% of the slave trade ended up being transported to the United States. Go talk to the countries that transported the 96% somewhere else. 

And if you had ANY sort of clue the amount of human trafficking that is coming across our southern border you would shut it down. Never mind the amount of drugs. The real money is in the slave trade currently ongoing right now. I am curious why the slave trade from 300 years ago is such a hot topic but you do not care about the children being sold into the sex slave industry. Children being sold into improper adoptions. There are so many children that are abandoned and unaccompanied at our border that were brought here to supply the sex trade but once someone started to look too close at the relationship to the adult with them and the adult gets either deported or disappears on the run. Leave the kids with us. $20 will get them another one to try with.

I believe we have a lot more responsibility to get these kids back home and out of slavery than they are getting. I do not believe that moral and family values include allowing children in the sex slave industry.