Mom loved Thanksgiving. Dad loved Christmas. Dad did things like load the Christmas tree with lights and have a contest with the grandkids to guess how many lights were on the tree for a small prize. He always wanted a big tree and there were years growing up that we had to cut a few feet off of the tree to get it to fit in the house.
Mom loved having the family together. Mom loved the gathering.
My last Christmas with mom was an event. We traveled down with both kids and their kids, and took food down as our present to Mom. Got delayed by a storm and then by a cow elk one the way down so it was pretty late when we got there. Mom had gone to bed with Peyton, my step-father, and had to get up to let us in, but was just thrilled that we were there.
The next few days were filled with a lot of commotion but mom was constantly smiling that she got to see everybody. She had struggled with having an appetite for a few months but for some reason with us being there and all the food we had brought with us, she started eating regularly and small, but real meals as opposed to just drinking a protein shake.
I managed to get some conversations recorded with mom about a lot of the things she went through in life with dad and she talked about the night of the horrific accident that changed their lives. She talked about how they managed with three young kids and not knowing whether he was going to live that night and then the course of their lives changing. Mom and I also had some private conversations that were just between the two of us.
It was hard leaving when it was time to come home. Mom understood, but I could tell she was upset. I was as well. It was a hard parting. I never saw mom again after that until I received her cremains. We spoke many times on the telephone, but that just is not the same.
Mom always wanted to live to 80 years of age and made it three weeks shy of her 81st birthday. Mom had lived with an aortic aneurysm for years and one night it broke. Her doctors were surprised that she made it to the helicopter ambulance, let alone the hospital. She lived for a few days after, more of a testament to her inner strength, but towards the end she had a series of small strokes and then went to her rest.
While talking with my step-father he would tell me how amazed he was at the positive changes in her following that Christmas visit. She had a good appetite, felt well and was even able to get out a little bit. He told me that she had said that those last three months were so nice for her.
I think of both of them at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Truthfully, all holidays and if I am being honest there are very few days that I do not think of them. For some reason this Christmas is hitting a little harder this year.
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